Tis the season, or not.

It's Christmas...yay.

I literally have ZERO spirit this year.
It's like I can't even focus on things nowadays.
I feel as though everything that I was taught growing up is being contradicted.
It's hard.
Just once, I want to feel carefree again, if even for but a moment, and I'd be thankful.
Fake smiles and laughs are no longer enough for me.
They can't hide what I'm becoming...
A heartless monster.
I've tried to make myself happy.
My friends and family have tried.
It's no use.
I just am....

Who knows, maybe it'll get better.
One can only hope.
But in a hopeless world, there's not much to hope for...

Less than you can ever imagine.

"The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them."

I know how they feel.
It sucks.
To know that what could have once been yours will never again be.

You learn to live with the almost empty feeling.
Almost empty because they're not yours, but are still in your life.

You cope with the fact that you made a mistake and you have to live with it.

So when you that chance.
Don't let it go.
You'll regret it.